Everyday i say this is the last time then next day im at the same cross road hating this and wanting to be done with it because of what my life has become. I dont enjoy anything hardly. Heck i dont even think i get high no more its just out of habit. And its just the same ill feelings every single time. Whats wrong with me. You would think i would want a better life but yet here i am stuck again regretting that last hit. When will this cycle end. And ima try again. Maybe ill make it to day 1
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Nothing changes if nothing changes. Try a different way.
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Nothing is wrong with you it's your disease we all have been at those Crossroads it's a matter of Mind Over Matter get counseling get into some kind of treatment you can't do this alone and find a higher power something more than you or anything on this Earth namely God we are believe in you and you got this anytime you need to talk to it plenty of us on here there are willing and able to speak with you but you have to want it more than you want your own life cuz if you don't just a matter of time before you may not have a life left to fight for
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You have to go to na/AA meetings regularly that is what has kept me clean and sober for going on 5 years May 30th and constant praying and changing my circle and those that I was around you can do it find you a support system and friends that are trustworthy and not in active addiction you can do this I believe in you and have faith in you
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Stops when enough is enough
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You need a guide. Read the big book of Alcoholic Anonymous. Read a chapter, read a page, read a paragraph, read a sentence. Just read. I'm not much on reading these days. So I got the Audio book. Enough is enough when you've had enough. Maybe you're just not ready yet, but still try. Never stop trying and don't give up on yourself. Stay connected with us. You're not alone.
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Hi Alexis,
Blake here. You’ve made an excellent and important observation when you wrote
“I cant seem to quit”.
This is true. We lack the discipline, strength, commitment, and willpower to stay “quit”. I can cease for a moment, time, or for a while but I lack the ability to permanently “quit”. A lot of this has to do with where my mind is. As I focus on not drinking, and fight and resist drinking eventually I get fatigued and give in.
For me alcohol calmed my restless thinking and troubled heart. I’d worry about the future, regret the past, and be uncomfortable with the present. Drinking was my only relief, my only peace, the only mental and emotional rest I got. But it brought on many other problems. With these new problems would come new reasons to escape (drink). It was never ending. I was loosing every time.
I haven’t figured out exactly what happened but something finally changed for me. I realized that I would never be able to win at alcohol. It was a professional and I was an amateur. It has been around a lot longer than me and that after 20 years I was not going to be able to figure out how to get better or how to win. If I don’t play the game anymore then it’s impossible to loose. I sought every means of help. This app, YouTube, Facebook, Google searches, and podcasts. Someone on this app suggested I get a sponsor. I started going to Alcoholics Anonymous in search of a sponsor. My third attendance there I realized I was an alcoholic. I attend Alcoholics Anonymous on a regular basis because I’ve finally found some peace and relief. I’ve found connection and it’s that connection with positive people that is so fulfilling and rewarding that drinking just doesn’t measure up. The spiritual and inner growth I’m experiencing is an exciting adventure that I look forward to everyday. I no longer think about what I don’t want to do. I think about what I enjoy doing. …learning about myself and connecting and helping others cross over to a better way of living.
I hope this helps.
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Alexis, I’ve been there and done that countless times! I was so sick of the seemingly endless cycle. Then I finally got SUPER SERIOUS and made my sobriety my NUMBER ONE PRIORITY in life. I went to early morning in person AA/NA meetings and evening meetings, got sponsored and did the 12 steps thoroughly multiple times.
I broke the cycle of insanity. 17 years of grateful sobriety and I’m still here to help others to freedom.
Hit me up if you’re seriously ready.
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Will pray for you sounds odd now that I read it with my spiritual cynical past but believe there is something there not sure what or how but willing to do my part
Good luck
You have to reach your rock bottom and decide you’ve had enough of the negativity. Once you take that step things get easier. There are individuals on this app to help you, just don’t reach out if you’re under the influence
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Everything you said to this really hit home for me! I’m on my 3rd go at quitting alcohol and I’m close to 3 months. I have found an all women’s meeting close to me but can’t seem to make it there after work during the week because I’m tired or… I haven’t admitted to myself that I’m an alcoholic but I want everything you mentioned. your words have gone the spark I needed to find a Saturday meeting so I can make those connections that I so desperately need. Thank you so much!
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Me too
Alcohol
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I wish I could stop doing drugs honestly
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Start with one hour at a time. Then days. Don't look too far forward. Sometimes it is just getting through that one craving. Message me if you need someone to help
Good luck and keep trying
Nothing's wrong with you. Most of us are or have been in the same boat. Willpower is not the answer because it runs out the more we use it. What I think works the best is deciding that our doc doesn't deliver anything we want, and enjoying it leaving our bodies and minds. Quitting is enjoyable, and as we contemplate our journey through quitting being poisoned we can decide what we are going to do in this moment which is fun, and may benefit others.
The message is hope. 12 step in my experience has been the only way I can break that cycle. What's saved my life so far is those doors are always open. Keep coming back it works if you work it. Those words have proven true to me.
I keep slipping too honestly
Addicts don't stop hit a meeting even if you uses people will be happy to see you time and time again then some of there wisdom starts to rub off and it gets easier